Grieving adults are turning to a Muppet for comfort on social media. Is that a good thing?

Elmo is becoming a kind of online therapist for adults who have fond memories of fuzzy red. sesame street Muppet from childhood.

Elmo's official X social media account shared a clip last week of a conversation on the children's show between the Muppet character and actor Andrew Garfield about grief, in which Garfield shares that he misses his mother, who died in 2019.

The post on This echoed an Elmo post from January, when the account asked people how they were doing and was inundated with responses.

Therapists say that while the grief video and some of the subsequent interactions were moving, seeing adults pour out their hearts on a Muppet's social media page is a troubling sign.

In the video, Garfield, who currently stars in the film. We live in timeHe says that it's “okay to miss someone” because it means you really loved that person, adding that he's happy to have so many positive memories of his mother.

“Who knew I needed this?” a user shared in the comments on X, formerly Twitter. “It was just the anniversary of losing my dad a few days ago and, man, I miss him.”

“I have not lost my parents, but I have been in the grieving process for my partner for 5 years.” another wrote. “I really appreciate this.”

The official sesame street account chimed in with a link containing resources to help children cope with grief.

The overwhelming response was reminiscent of a January post in which Elmo 15J">he asked innocently“How is everyone?” and I saw your comments section full of people saying that, in fact, they weren't doing well at all.

“Every morning I can't wait to go back to sleep.” ofK">one user wrote in response to the January post. “Every Monday I can't wait for Friday to come. Every day and every week for life.”

More support needed in today's world: therapist

Lindsey Thomson, psychotherapist and national advocacy director for the Canadian Counseling and Psychotherapy Association, said as a child: sesame street provided a supportive and non-judgmental learning environment.

“I think for many generations, Elmo has been a very approachable, friendly, compassionate character that connects on a very deep level,” he said.

But beneath that nostalgic comfort is the darker truth that people still don't feel like they can open up to those close to them, or worry that if they do, they might be a burden to others, Thomson said.

“I think people might be holding on to that because they potentially don't have that kind of support in their life currently.”

When it comes to seeking professional help, Thomson said many people can't afford it or have excessive wait times for mental health services, something she called a “chronic” problem in Canada.

She said there are still taboos around talking about death and grief explicitly, which often leads grieving people to isolate themselves.

Expressing pain in a 'social media void'

Jonathan Shedler, a psychologist and clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, said there is “something very sad” about adults contacting Elmo online.

This speaks to an alienation and fragmentation in society, he said, where many people are suffering and yet there seems to be no room for these conversations in life today.

“People are expressing their pain in kind of a void on social media,” Shedler said. “There is no one on the other side.”

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There has been an increase in loneliness and social isolation. well-documented for years, even before the COVID-19 pandemic, and a 2021 US study found that people had fewer close friendships than before, spoke less frequently with their friends, and relied less on their friends for personal support.

Shedler said this speaks to a broader cultural movement, fueled in part by social media, that has blurred the distinction between appearance and substance, leading people to turn to “the appearance of connection” rather than a current human connection.

That can lead to online parasocial relationships with celebrities (or in the case of Elmo, a Muppet) that are not reciprocated in any meaningful way.

While the conversations in Elmo's comments section may seem sweet and reassuring, Shedler said the hard truth is that amorous platitudes exchanged between strangers online mean “literally nothing” in reality.

“Having a stranger tell you that you are loved and that you care is not really the same experience as someone in your life with whom you have an ongoing, meaningful relationship who loves and cares about you,” she said. saying.

“I think we get into trouble as soon as we confuse one with the other, and think that the parasocial relationship is somehow a substitute for an presente relationship. “That is not the cure, it is the disease.”